Welcoming Silence

How do you feel about silence? How do you respond to silence? What does silence mean to you?

Several coaches have commented that they are realizing how uncomfortable they are with silent pauses during conversations, how they notice themselves rushing to fill them. I suspect they are not the only ones. Wonder why so many of us are so uncomfortable with silence?

Here is what Arthur L. Costa and Robert J. Garmston have to say about silence in Cognitive Coaching: A Foundation for Renaissance Schools:

Silence is an indicator of a productive conference. If the coach waits after asking a question, or after the partner gives an answer, the silence (1) communicates respect for the other's reflection and processing time, and (2) results in a positive effect on higher level cognitive processing.

When the coach waits after the other person gives an answer, it causes the continuation of thinking about the task or question. Furthermore, when a coach waits after the partner asks a question or gives an answer, it models the same thoughtfulness, reflectiveness, and restraint of impulsivity that are desirable behaviors for others to use.

So, silence is one way to respond to one another in conversation, to make a space for our better ideas and responses to have time to show up. It is one way we show one another know that we value time to think and reflect. What might happen if you challenged yourself to make a place for silence in your coaching conversations?

Will you play with me?

I have been planning to begin a blog for our literacy coaching community for several years......I have had very good intentions, but somehow I could never get it actually begun. My grandmother used to tell me "The road to h---is paved with good intentions."



So, now that I have laid enough pavers to make my way there and back, I am finally at the threshold of that most difficult of places , the beginning..... Beginning to do something very new at which I am in no way accomplished or skilled, which makes it scary...... Beginning to do something very exciting through which I am going to learn new skills and abilities, which makes it wonderful.



This reminds me of how difficult it is to be a new learner at anything after the age of 10. Not that the learning is very difficult, but the risk of learning, being seen as incompetent, foolish, or struggling in front of our peers and colleagues is the hitch. What new skill have you tried to learn recently? How did it feel? How did you go about it? Or, might there be things you are really wanting to learn, but you have been paving that road my grandmother talked about instead?



So, will you play, and learn, with me? I will anticipate hearing your thoughts about jumping into, or avoiding, new learning as an adult.